 One More Step in the Journey: Be . . .How can we prepare our hearts, minds and bodies to forgive? Forgiveness is not easy and it is not embraced by the world around us. Our hearts may be very hard toward a person who has hurt us. Our minds may be bombarded with constant mental messages about revenge. Our tight, clenched bodies may be carrying our resentments. We may not be ready TODAY to forgive, but we can prepare ourselves to be forgiving.
Be Aware, Quiet, Gentle, Grateful and BOLO for the Good We started with four "Be"s:
Be Small, but Active Our final step in preparing to forgive is to be small, but active. Don't get distracted by waiting to make grand gestures! Building forgiveness skills takes practice. Don't get distracted by the negative voice that tells you that you can never forgive, so why bother trying. Building forgiveness takes work. In small ways begin to love. In small ways begin to show mercy. In small ways turn from the negative and choose the positive. Let someone merge into your lane. Smile. Choose to make someone dinner. Do some else's chores. Choose to send a note. Choose to find the good and point it out! Yes, it is world that appears to be in upheaval. Yes, there is yelling and arguing. You don't have to join in. Instead of a rebuttal, how about a note that says, "Thank you for being passionate." When we start small, but we START, we are preparing ourselves for bigger acts of love, bigger acts of mercy and beginning to forgive. With gratitude, Tim Looking for some insight and encouragement on forgiveness? Looking for it in bitesize, digestible pieces? Looking for something positive and meaningful? Check out the International Forgiveness Institute Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/internationalforgiveness/ If you would like to subscribe to the Forgiveness Factor Community please go to https://mailchi.mp/b441e8770b36/forgivenessfactorcommunity
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 Ever get sidetracked? I want to apologize for the unannounced hiatus from weekly postings. Part of me is super proud that I posted weekly for as long as I did (new record). Part of me is not. I am full of excuses why I don't do what I want to do, but I have few good reasons. I appreciate the feedback and the encouragement from all of you. I will keep writing, if you will keep reading. Be Aware, Quiet, Gentle and Grateful The last time I posted, I introduced the idea that forgiveness is a journey. Every journey has a starting point. Most people decide to go on a journey. The journey of forgiveness is a journey you can decide to take. But what if you don't feel ready? Is there anyway to prepare our hearts and our minds to begin the journey of forgiveness? We covered a few hints last time:
Be BOLO for the Good Yes, I enjoy all things CSI and Criminal Minds. In crime thrillers like these, the agents may put out a BOLO for a suspect. BOLO is shorthand for "Be On the Look Out" and refers to watching for a person of interest. We are on the look out for things every day, but sometimes we don't notice. Are you on the look out for poor drivers? Are you on the lookout for coworkers not pulling their weight? Are you on the lookout for any and all negative experiences that might possibly happen to you as you go throughout your day? We can get stuck seeing only the negative. We get so used to it, that we need something dramatic, like a big, vivid, double rainbow, or a GRAND GESTURE to move our needle to the positive side of the dial. What if we started our day with a BOLO for examples of compassionate driving, small acts of kindness, gestures of humility, expressions of understanding? What if we took a moment and decided to search for the good in the world in our daily lives. Looking for people making unselfish choices and using gentle words. Being aware of the goodness around us (it is there, I promise). Our challenge is that we may have trouble believing we can replace our resentments with love if we don't believe love is real. We can start believing by seeing the good that is around us. BOLO for the Good in your life. With gratitude, Tim |
AuthorTim Markle has been practicing forgiveness for many years and teaching others how to forgive for five. Archives
October 2020
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