As the October wind continues to gust around my yard, I see more and more colorful leaves dropping, floating, zig-zagging, plummeting to the ground. But not all of them. Some seem to want to hang around. Sounds like my journey.
As I journey through life and attempt to live a forgiving life, I need to change. I can't be satisfied with "well, that's just the way I am." I have to consider some ideas, thoughts, feelings, memories in a new way. If I want things to get better, something needs to change. If I want to feel differently, something needs to change. If I want to think differently, something needs to change.
Sometimes change is brought about by outside forces that blow so hard through my life (like the wind and the leaves,) I have no choice but to change. Sometimes change is brought about internally (like the whole leaf coloring process) where I decide I need to change and I actively seek change.
Change is hard
But sometimes I don't want to change. I want to stay this hue. I want to stay attached to this tree. I want to hold onto my resentments. I want to keep my grudges. I want to stand firm until someone, somewhere agrees with how right I am and how I deserve to be resentful and grudgeful (and in pain) and even then, I may just feel vindicated, but still not let go. I can choose to hang on.
Fall is an opportunity to stop and look at the dead leaves I might have hanging in my life. Am I hanging onto personal failure and clinging to what my life might have been if I had made different choices? Am I hanging onto the hurt someone inflicted on me in fear that if I see it differently, I might lose my identity? Am I hanging onto perfectionism? Am I hanging onto resentments?
We are here today. We can't be anywhere else but here. We are here now. We can't fully exist in any other time but now. In the here and the now, you and I have choices as to what we want to let go of and what we want to hang onto. It is scary to let go. I can't promise a Spring with green leaves, rainbows and unicorns. But I can promise that if nothing changes, it will remain the same. I can promise if we never change, we will never realize the awesome, beautiful, loving, caring, forgiving person we are meant to be. What do you need to let go of? With gratitude,
A Little Extra
Borrowing from my fellow forgiveness laborer with Forgiveness Institute KC (www.yeabut.org ), I too would like to encourage you to check out a "Ted Talk" from Jean Paul Samputu, an advocate for Forgiveness working in Canada. Click the link below to enjoy his most profound 10 minute story. Thanks Chuck! Jean Paul Samputu at https://www.instagram.com/tv/CFKJbXbobG0/?igshid=1k2q6r5ph1f64
If you would like to subscribe to the Forgiveness Factor Community please go to https://mailchi.mp/b441e8770b36/forgivenessfactorcommunity.
Thanks to Mehdi Babousan for sharing their work on Unsplash.